How does a person live an extraordinary life? How can you achieve levels of happiness and success beyond the norm? By being extraordinary.

Take a look at the word extraordinary. Now break it into its two main pieces…extra and ordinary; so an extraordinary life is one that is beyond ordinary. Another word I really like is paranormal. The prefix “para” means “beside” so something paranormal is beside the normal. To live a life beyond normal, we must be beyond normal.

This doesn’t mean we have to develop super powers or be bigger than life but it does mean letting go of the old way of doing things. Most people live and operate within a small, tightly controlled parameter of what they think is possible. They set and achieve goals within those parameters and assume that anything beyond that is either way too risky or impossible.

So many people live their lives based on the principle of “least” rather than stretching out and setting their sights on the most. “If I can at least make this much money…” “If I can at least get this many clients…” “I can find at least 1 friend…” This is the normal approach to life; to achieve normal, ordinary results, apply the normal, ordinary approach but if you want to have an extra-ordinary or para-normal life, you have to apply an extraordinary or para-normal approach.

Think of it this way, your life as it is now has brought you a particular result…the life you currently lead. If you like this life, by all means, continue what you’re doing. If, however, you find things less than desirable, a new approach must be taken.

So what does this mean in practical terms? It means being completely honest with yourself about how satisfied you really are with the way your life is. It means allowing yourself to recognize and claim the happiness you really want instead of settling for “at least”. It means having the willingness to take comfortable risks that will lead you in the direction of your happiness. It has been said, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result” yet that’s how most of us live…doing the same thing over and over and hoping for something different to happen.

One of the biggest traps we get caught in is waiting for the circumstances to change before we make a change. “I’ll do the things I enjoy when I have more time.” I’ve watched a lot of people waste decades of their life waiting for more time. You have to take steps, even if they’re small ones, toward making more time. If you keep filling your daily schedule with things, you’re never going to have more free time. It’s like saying, “I’ll quit smoking when I wake up and no longer crave cigarettes but until then, I’m going to keep smoking 2 packs a day.” Do you think you’ll ever quit that way?

Take a stand for your happiness and move toward it. Realize that the things you’ve done until now haven’t brought you the result you want and continuing to do them isn’t going to improve anything. Happiness is something we’ve managed to downplay and minimize in our society when it’s one of the most important things we can ever have. Recognize that you are the one in charge of your happiness, not other people and not outward circumstances. Dare to live an extraordinary life so you can have an extraordinary life. Be para-normal; be ab-normal, (don’t do anything illegal or harmful) as long as these actions are moving you in the direction you prefer.

Dare to be extraordinary!

Most of us were never shown how to find self-fulfillment. Instead, we were taught to focus on external measures that we were told would bring us contentment… how smart (or not) we are, how attractive and successful we appear, how much money we make, how polite and respectful we are, how “together” we seem to be, how strong our moral fiber is, or how compliant we are to those in authority. After all, isn’t it how other people perceive us and treat us that matters?

So what is the result of living life in this way?

• We run and run ourselves ragged to please others at our own expense and often develop some sort of stress related dis-ease such as fatigue, depression, peptic ulcers, migraines, sleep problems, or anxiety attacks to name but a few.
• If we find that we excel in a way that a sibling, friend, classmate or parent does not, we are encouraged to start holding back in order to not hurt the other’s feelings. This leads us to develop a habit of self-limitation and denial of ability that very often stays with us for life.
• If we enjoy certain foods because they taste good, we often get criticized for it and reminded of how unhealthy that food is. This leads to feelings of guilt and a skewed perception of our relationship with food.
• If we develop a phobia or even just a sense of discomfort in a particular situation, such as public speaking or seeing a spider, we feel weak or in some way less capable than those who don’t share our affliction.
• We are blamed for so much as a child that when a traumatic event strikes, we often become convinced that we’re at fault.
• We become addicted to smoking, gambling, sex, or drugs to soothe other unhealed emotional pains, and now feel deep shame for turning to the only means we knew to ease the pain.
• We learned the hard way growing up (through punishment of various sorts) that we must control and constrain all impulses–including those to laugh, cry, get angry, speak our mind, play, create, openly show affection, and to simply be our natural selves.

In short, we have become the masters of second-guessing and criticizing every decision, action, inaction, impulse, desire and need we have and it is stressing us to death. A friend of mine told me something several years ago that began the “awakening” process within me. He said, “When you try to please everyone else, everybody ends up being happy except you.” The question we have to ask ourselves is “Why is it more important to put everyone else’s happiness ahead of our own?” What makes the parent, the teacher, the minister, the counselor, the boss, the co-worker, the friend, the neighbor, the spouse, or the total stranger more important than you? Why must their happiness be elevated over your own? At the very least, why can’t your happiness be just as important as theirs?

You see, when you force yourself to be in a position that makes you unhappy, you aren’t doing anybody any favors. You’re clearly not happy but that fact then means that you become less effective in whatever role you’re playing. If you’re unhappy at your job, you’re not going to perform as well (several studies have shown that happy workers are far more effective). If you’re unhappy in a relationship, you won’t be as effective as a partner. Of course, this doesn’t mean you can’t fake your way through and satisfactorily fulfill your role but did you do it as well as you could have? Is “satisfactory” really the best you could do? All you have to do is compare your attitude toward something you don’t want to be doing to something you do want to be doing and you’ll see a tremendous difference and that difference really does transfer to your performance.

The first thing we all have to do is realize that, regardless of what we’ve been told, nobody knows what will make us happy except us. Only I know what will fulfill me and only you know what will fulfill you. Seeking the answer in another person is just asking to be lead down the wrong road. We have to stop worrying about what everyone else thinks and wants from us and start worrying about what we think and what we want. This might sound very selfish but, really, when you consider the impact you can have on the world when you’re doing what is right for you, you see you will be contributing so much more! If you are applying yourself 100% and you do honestly enjoy what you’re doing, you will be giving so much more to your clients, customers, or patients, friends, family, neighbors, and, yes, even the total stranger. Have you ever been served by someone that clearly didn’t want to be there? How did that person treat you? My experience has been that they make me feel unimportant. Have you ever been served by someone who clearly was happy to be there? How did that person treat you? My experience has been that they make me feel like I really matter.

Think about how many people treat others poorly because they, themselves, are in a bad mood. That negative energy we carry around all day from feeling stuck in something we don’t want to be in eventually has to come out and it’s usually directed at the people around us…the cashier at the store or the teller at the bank or the person taking your order at the restaurant, or the stranger on the street, or the kids or the spouse.

It really is very important that we all take our self-fulfillment seriously. Happier people live longer, are healthier, are more pleasant to be around, and are more effective at what they do in life. Please, seriously consider what would make you more fulfilled and really try to achieve it. I wish you all the happiness in the world!

“To thine own self be true.” Shakespeare wrote these words over 400 years ago and their wisdom is just as valid today. The problem, though, is most of us aren’t true to ourselves. In fact, very many of us don’t even know who we really are.

Growing up, we were told to act like other people. “Strive to be like Jesus” or “Why can’t you be more like your brother or sister?” Interestingly, however, these same people who petition us to model ourselves after others will also tell us, “Be yourself”. “To thine own self be true.” We all see the wisdom in these words so why is this concept so hard for so many of us? Well, in childhood, every time we would attempt to express our individuality, we were cut short. “Don’t do that!”, “Stop it!”, “Behave yourself”, “Grow up”, “Why can’t you be more like your brother?” Eventually, we lose all sense of who we actually are because we have spent so much time burying that side of ourselves. Now we present a personality that is a mixture of characteristics we’ve modeled from other people. Not very authentic, is it?

As society stifles our natural tendencies, we learn that is it wrong to be who we really are so we pretend to be someone we’re not. We wear a patchwork mask of all the traits we’ve been taught are most acceptable by those around us. We pretend to be interested in a conversation just to be polite, we laugh at things that aren’t funny or suppress our laughter if we think it “inappropriate” to laugh. We hold back our true feelings and pretend we aren’t hurt, scared, unhappy, sad, embarrassed, turned on, in love, or overjoyed because to make those things known would be socially unacceptable.

Try this. Think of something that is quite opposite your nature. For instance, if you’re a pacifist, think about being a warrior. If you’re the warrior type, think about being a pacifist. If you’re a Democrat, think about being a Republican and vice versa. Try that persona on for size. Imagine what it would take for you to actually be that person, complete with emotions and thought patterns.

It would be very foreign and probably uncomfortable, wouldn’t it? You are trying to be something that you’re not and that is always a hard thing to do. One reason so many people are so unhappy is they are trying incredibly hard to wear a mask that doesn’t fit. After years and years of this they begin to forget the way we used to think or feel but that doesn’t mean this side of us has gone away. It remains inside us trying desperately to get out and the more we ignore it, the harder it tries. This struggle of the natural self to shine through is felt as a sense of incompleteness or unhappiness. We begin to try and fill the void inside with things…cars, houses, clothes, jewelry, relationships, drugs, sex, money, food, etc. but no matter how many things we acquire, we always feel the need for more. Think about this. If the things really were fulfilling, why would we need more and more of them? The real answer is to find fulfillment in yourself and that means taking the time to find who you truly are and respect that version of yourself enough to allow it to be expressed. To thine own self be true. After all, if you’re not true to yourself, are you ever true to anyone?

We have been taught from a very early age that we, as individuals, can’t know the answers to our questions. That we don’t know what is best for us and we must turn to others who are supposed to be more educated on the matter. In times of confusion, we turn to ministers, rabbis or priests, counselors and teachers, expecting these people to somehow know what we need. The truth, however, is they can only tell us what is true for them and, in fact, the more astute of them will very often give a very sound piece of advice…”Listen to your heart. You know what you need to do”.

Every one of us has a uniquely individual perspective and what holds true for one us does not necessarily hold true for another. What makes one individual happy may make the other miserable. One might thrive under stress and the other might crack, so how can we expect anyone other than ourselves to know what is truly best for us? To find the answers you seek, you must inquire within.

The nature of the universe is one of constant change. The whole universe changes from instant to instant and we, as individuals, do the same. Every cell in our body grows, changes and dies, and it has been documented that in seven years every cell of our body has been replaced. This means that you are quite literally not the same person you were 7 years ago. Also, as you gain knowledge and expand your awareness and understanding of yourself and the universe surrounding you, you experience change. You are not the same person you were when you began reading this article. As you grow and change, what was once true for you may no longer be true now. A decision you made last year might no longer be desirable or beneficial today.

We aren’t very cognizant of this constant change because we live our lives so caught up in our on-going dramas that we don’t stop what we are doing and reflect on how we differ in the evening compared to the morning. These changes are usually subtle but they are noticeable. For instance, if you come home at the end of the day more staunchly convinced that you don’t like your job, you have changed. A belief you held in the morning has been more firmly reinforced, which means it has changed over the course of the day.

The changes that we do recognize in our lives are perceived through our five senses of sight, sound, touch, smell and taste. However, as we delve deeper into this exploration of change, we begin to understand that we also interpret our world through our metaphysical senses. Concepts such as intuition, commonly referred to as “gut feelings”, and synchronicity are also part of our makeup when we look at ourselves from a more detached perspective. When we allow ourselves to step back from this physical mass of skin, bones, and muscle we begin to understand that we are so much more than these physical, three dimensional bodies.

Many of us acknowledge that there is a spiritual aspect to human beings and we tend to think of ourselves as a body with a spirit but I would submit that we are, indeed, spirits with a body. We are essentially non-physical beings who have projected a portion of consciousness into a physical world of dualities. This explains why we tend to have such a rough time while we’re here. We are generally not expressing who we really are. We spend our time doing things that, deep down, we know are not best for us. As we recognize this incongruence, we have feelings of confusion and unhappiness and we don’t quite understand why. So, having been taught  that we can’t possibly know what is best for us, we turn to those around us…those who are supposed to have the answers but who are, in fact, only doing the same thing we are; being something that is inconsistent with their natural self.  They tell us to stay the course because that’s the most logical and safest thing to do and, besides, that’s what everyone else does. “Few people ever really find happiness” they might add. But nobody seems to consider why it is that those few do and the rest of us don’t. What are they doing different?

Unfortunately, continuing in this way causes us to do things that don’t serve us to the fullest and there will always be that nagging feeling that there is something within us left incomplete. Until we can be truly honest with ourselves and look at what serves us physically as well as spiritually, we will find life unfulfilling. Almost all of the most successful people in the world will tell you that in order to be truly successful, you must be passionate about what you do. How many of us are passionate about what we do 8 or more hours of the day? Stop and consider this thing called passion. Where does it come from? Might it be that this drive within us is an expression of the spiritual self? Perhaps this is our spiritual essence telling us what we should be doing to achieve fulfillment; providing us with the answer to the questions we’ve posed to so many others, hoping they could tell us what we need to do.

If you really want to know what the best course for your life is, go inside and ask. Still your mind and listen to the quiet voice that speaks to you. It won’t tell you in words what you need but you will most definitely be given direction. The key is to trust the information you get and then begin to act upon it.

Life is like a dance. When dancing, the goal is not to reach a certain point on the dance floor; the goal is to enjoy every step to the fullest until the music stops playing. At any time during the dance, if you don’t like the step you’re using, you can change to another one. If you don’t like the Foxtrot, you can dance the Lindy, the Samba or the Tango or you can even invent one of your own, so long as it feels right to you. After all, if you aren’t enjoying the dance, what’s the point in dancing?

Imagine your dream as a flower that you’d like to cultivate. It must be planted, nurtured, given plenty of sunlight and water and allowed to grow. Now imagine putting that young flower in the soil and promptly stomping on it, blocking all sunlight that might reach it and placing a heavy tarp over it. This is what we tend to do with our dreams.

Why do we do this with something that means to much to us? One of the main reasons is our firm faith in the negative beliefs we have about reaching our dreams. So often, we stand in our own way and prevent the very things we want in our lives from coming to us.

Let’s say you want to marry your soulmate. That desire represents the young flower of a dream you’d like to cultivate, so you place it in the soil. You smile at it and suddenly begin thinking of all the reasons why you’re not likely to get married. “I’m too old.” You stomp on the flower. “I’m too fat.” You stomp on it again. “Nobody would want to live with me.” You drag a large piece of furniture over to block the sunlight. “I don’t want to deal with someone else’s baggage.” You lay the heavy tarp over the flower. “All my past relationships failed.” You stomp the flower again. “I might was well get used to living the rest of my life alone.”

Maybe you want more money. You place the dream flower in the soil and smile at it but then think of all the reasons that goal is unrealistic. “I don’t have the education for that.” You stomp the flower. “I’d probably have to go back to school.” You stomp it again. “I’m too old to go back to school. Plus, I don’t have the time” You block the sunlight. “I might as well just get used to living on what I make now.” You lay the heavy tarp over the flower.

Why is it so much easier to believe against the things we want than to believe in them? It almost seems as though we’d rather not have what we want than have our dreams fulfilled. What causes this tendency? Most of us were told at an extremely early age that we can’t have the things we want. We’ve been told our dreams are flights of fancy. We’ve heard about how unfair and how much of a struggle life is and, since at that age, we had no other reference point to compare this information to, we accepted these ideas as truth. Once an idea is accepted the search for corroborating evidence begins. Interestingly, no matter what belief we have, positive or negative, we can find evidence to support it and we actually go out of our way to do so. Consider this, if you disagree or agree with anything I’ve said so far, are you not searching your mind for reasons to support your position? Why aren’t you searching for evidence to support the opposite? Is it because there isn’t any or is it because you hold so strongly to your point of view?

As long as we continue to accept our old ways of thinking, nothing will change. Question the limiting beliefs that so frequently surface when you want to fulfill a dream. A very useful question to ask is, “What do I have to believe is true in order to feel the way I do?” You might be surprised at some of the answers that come up.

“If only I had more time, I could _______.” The problem with this notion is that you’re waiting for the time to appear. From the perspective you have now, you must wait for circumstances in your life to change in order to allow you to have more time to do the things you want to do. The paradox is, while you’re waiting for more time to appear, you’re creating more and more of not having enough time. Why? Because you are demonstrating through your thoughts and actions that you choose to not have enough time by acting and behaving as if you don’t. The more you say, “I just don’t have enough time to do the things I want” and go about your day pushing away all the things you’d rather be doing in favor of the things you believe you must do, the more you create that very circumstance.

People don’t want an abundance of time simply for the sake of having a bunch of time on their hands. People want more time so they can do things they enjoy. Therefore, if you truly want more time to do what you want, start by making a decision that you will set aside an amount of time each day or a few days a week to do something you really want to do. The more you do the things you prefer doing, the more you state that this is what you prefer and you will find that more time will open up for you. Now, no, this doesn’t mean than an extra hour or two will magically appear in your day and you’ll be working with 25 or 26 hours instead of 24. What it does mean, however, is that you might begin to prioritize your time differently and start allowing yourself to do more of the things you enjoy.

Many people will find, however, that when they make a decision to set aside time to do what they want, things will come up and block this. You might decide to set aside an hour every Monday, Wednesday and Friday to do what you want and when the day arrives, something suddenly comes up to occupy that hour. Let’s say your best friend calls and wants to get together. Instead of getting frustrated you can choose to see this obstacle as an opportunity to cement your new attitude into being. Rather than give up on the activity you had planned to do and agreeing to meet with your friend, you might try saying, “I would love to get together with you but I’ve decided I’m going to take this hour every Monday, Wednesday and Friday to do ______. But I’d be more than happy to meet with you later today or tomorrow.” I’m sure your friend will understand and will probably be glad you’re finally doing something for yourself!

All of the things you want to do are meaningful to you in some way or another. If you are ignoring them, you are denying an important aspect of your overall growth. Your interests aren’t arbitrary and inconsequential. You have them for a reason and they are meant to be explored and developed. Only by allowing this aspect of you to grow to its fullest will you be able to express your true, expanded self, which will be more capable of sharing all its gifts to the world.

Electricity follows the path of least resistance and so do your dreams. When I talk about resistance in this case, I’m talking about beliefs. Think of something you really want in your life. It might be a new car, new relationship, different job, more money, or a new house. Now think about how much time you spend telling yourself how hard it would be achieve that goal. Make a mental list of all the reasons you give for why you don’t have it yet.

Every reason you came up with acts as an obstacle on the road to reaching your goal. The more strongly you believe in a particular reason or obstacle, the more resistance you create. For instance, let’s say you decided you want an extra $100,000. Well, you might work more hours or get a second or maybe even third job. You could take out a loan or ask some friends or family members for it or maybe start playing the lottery. Now take a second and gauge your reaction to each of the options I listed. Odds are, you have some level of resistance to each of them. “I don’t want to work three jobs.” “If I take out a loan, then I’d be deeper in debt. That wouldn’t help me.” “I don’t know enough people who have the money to loan me. Plus, I hate borrowing money from friends and family.” “I have a better chance of getting struck by lightning than winning the lottery but that’s probably my best bet.”

Of course, the options I listed for getting the extra $100,000 aren’t the only ones available; they’re just usually the ones people think of. Believe it or not, there are ways of getting that money you’ve never considered or even heard of. This is why it’s very important to make all options equally valid. In other words, as long as you get the $100,000 in a way that isn’t harmful to you or anyone else, does it really matter HOW it got to you?

The following story is so common it’s almost become a cliché. Let’s say a hypothetical man named Max is looking for his dream woman and tries very hard to find her…going out every weekend, joining online dating services, putting ads in the personals, and having all his friends keep their eyes open for someone they think he’d like. For some reason, though, he just can’t seem to find type of person he’s looking for so, after months of trying, he decides to give up. A matter of a few weeks later, “When I didn’t even expect it”, the woman of Max’s dreams enters his life in some unexpected way. “I was at the bookstore browsing around when I found a book I was really interested it. I went to reach for it and her hand went for it to.” Why, after all that work, did this dream woman arrive after Max quit trying?

The answer lies in making the mistake that we know how something must come into being. Max assumed the only way he could find his dream woman was by making himself as known as possible and selling himself. The logic is, “The more women that see me, the more likely I am to find the one I want.” This sounds very reasonable but it often doesn’t work. Sure, he might have had many dates but they weren’t with the woman he really wanted. All the dates Max had gone on made no difference in his ability to meet his dream woman in the bookstore.

The mind uses its past experiences to make decisions about how a future event must take place. After all, that’s how it happened before, so it must be how it’ll happen again. This isn’t to say that the future event can’t or won’t happen the way it did in the past but that isn’t the only way it can.

In actuality, all Max had to do was set the intention that he wanted to meet the woman of his dreams and keep all his options open. He had certainly set his intention and was working very hard at trying to reach his goal. I’m sure Max felt disappointment with each date that ended poorly or at how long it was taking him to find someone he was really in love with. These negative feelings were putting obstacles in his path. The reason he was able to meet his dream woman in the bookstore is because he had no expectation that he would or wouldn’t. This meant he was completely open to the experience, so it was able to happen.

We’ve all heard of stories like this. I know a woman who was looking for a serious relationship but was having a hard time finding one. One night, she went to the store for some things and came across a man as she was leaving. He said he couldn’t help but talk to her. They hit it off and have been happily dating for several months. A man I know met the woman he married while jogging in the park one morning. My sister met the man she married (my cousin’s best friend) at my cousin’s graduation party.

So often, we spend time focusing on how we will achieve our goals and, very often, we choose options that we have quite a bit of resistance to because we think it’s the best or only option we have. For example, deciding to play the lottery when you have a belief that you have a greater chance of being struck by lightning than actually winning. Because of this, we find it rather difficult to attain our goals and we become frustrated, which only adds to the resistance we already have. Instead, focus your attention on the goal itself and don’t worry so much about how it will come about. This way, you are leaving all options open and equal, including the ones you don’t even know about. The option that contains the least resistance will be the one that fulfills your wishes.

Ever notice how some people seem to have it all? The great house, the wonderful relationship, the fancy car, plenty of money, tons of happiness. How did they get so lucky? Must’ve just been the luck of the draw. Well, actually, luck had nothing to do with it.

Most of us are brought up to believe that we have little or no power in our lives. Things just happen and the best you can do is try to deal with it. If someone has everything they ever wanted, it is generally chalked up to great luck or having some incredible talent or ability the rest of us don’t have. But if that’s true, it would mean there is some kind of force outside ourselves acting either for or against us; deciding who gets what and when and why. “Yes”, says the force, “I like this one a lot. She shall receive plenty of money, true love and happiness throughout her days.” “No,” says the force, “I don’t like this one much at all. He will receive countless failed relationships, little money and plenty of misery.”

What would this system be based on? Good deeds, maybe? There are plenty of people in this world who aren’t exactly saints that have all the material things they want. At the same time, there are many people who are incredibly charitable who don’t have much of anything.

Maybe there is no system. Maybe there is no force acting for or against us. Maybe we’re doing it ourselves. If you interviewed a group of highly successful people and a group of not so successful people, you would find that the primary difference between the two groups is attitude. The successful people expect to be successful. They have big dreams and actually set out to achieve them. They don’t let setbacks and failures stop them. On the other hand, the not so successful people expect to be “average”. They dream small or in the middle of the road. If they do have a big idea and try it, any setback is proof to them that they can’t do what they wanted so they stop trying. However, most don’t even try in the first place.

We are all creative beings and we create our lives down to the minutest detail every second of every day. If you spend your time expecting to be average, you are creating that. If you spend your time worrying about how hard it will be to achieve your goals, you’re creating that. If you want things to change in your life, expect them to go the way you want instead of the way you don’t want. Have faith and trust that you will create the reality you choose.

There isn’t a single person on the planet that doesn’t have faith and trust in something. The question is what are you putting that faith and trust in? Most people put their faith in the things they fear, “knowing” they will happen. “If I quit my job, I know I’ll go broke and starve.” “If I do what I love for a living, I know I won’t be able to support myself.” You have complete trust that these things will happen and, naturally, they do.

Aren’t those just assumptions, though? I mean, do you know 100% for a fact that that is what’s going to happen or are you simply assuming that’s the most likely outcome? After all, there are people all over the place who have achieved the very thing you want, so it certainly can be done. “But this person said it wouldn’t be easy and that person said it would take years to accomplish and that person over there said it would cost thousands of dollars.” The more people you find to support an assumption, the more you reinforce your trust in that assumption.

Place your faith in what you want instead of what you don’t want. Start small by allowing yourself to acknowledge that you are placing your trust in things you don’t prefer. Let yourself see that other options exist. Find people who support the assumption that you will succeed and use them as a support structure. The more you can allow yourself to do this, the more open you’ll become and the easier things will be.

Relax and enjoy your life. That’s what it’s here for. Be good to yourself and let good things come to you. You really do deserve it!

Imagine that you get up one morning and get a phone call from your boss. “I’m very sorry to have to tell you this but we’re going to have to let you go. You can pick up your last paycheck tomorrow. Again, I’m very sorry.” Most people would consider this to be a very bad experience but is it? What makes something good or bad? Is that quality inherent in the situation or is there something else to it?

Everything you experience in life is a symbol of some belief that you have. If, for example, you believe that money is hard to come by, you will more than likely experience not having very much or having to work very hard for it. If you believe that life is a struggle, you will find yourself or people that you know in situations that reflect that idea. If you worry about the security of your job, you just might find yourself losing it. So, you might say, regardless of whether or not I’m creating these things, they’re still bad. I don’t want those things to happen.

Understand that, on the stage of life, everything is a neutral prop and your definition of any particular one is what determines its meaning. You can choose to see losing your job as a bad experience or you can choose to see it as a good one. All experiences we have in life are designed to show us what we believe about a particular situation. Once you recognize the belief and change it, the situation will change accordingly. Let’s look at a couple of examples.

Let’s say you’re in an unhappy relationship. Why do you continue to stay? Perhaps you don’t want to hurt his or her feelings. Perhaps you’re afraid of being alone. Maybe you have children with this person and think you have to stay for their sake. No matter what reason you give, it indicates the belief you hold that keeps you in a negative relationship.

Maybe you hate your job. Why do you stay? Is it because you think you won’t be able to find another one with the same benefits and pay? Maybe you think you wont’ find one that’s any better than this one. Perhaps it’s a fear of not having enough money to transition from one career to another. Again, whatever reason you give indicates the belief you hold.

The negative situations aren’t a punishment; they’re there to show us what we’re creating through our beliefs. If we like what we see, we should keep doing what we’re doing. If we don’t, however, it’s time to change something.

Do you know anyone who follows a certain pattern? A good example would be someone who is always attracting abusive relationships. Why does this person keep putting him or herself in the same type of relationship over and over again? It’s because that person has a belief that he or she needs to attract that kind of person.

Since reality is a reflection of our beliefs, we can’t wait for the circumstances to change first, which is what most of us do. If you look at yourself in a mirror, you don’t expect the mirror to smile at you before you smile at it, right? You know you have to smile before the reflection can. Life works the same way. If you change what you’re sending out by believing differently and then acting on that new belief, what you get back will change in accordance. If you simply start to think differently but act on the old patterns, you haven’t really changed and neither will your reality.

So the next time something bad happens in your life, take a minute to remind yourself that it’s only a neutral prop designed to show you what you believe. If you can learn the lesson from the experience and then choose to act differently, you’ll have moved yourself out of the need to repeat that type of experience.